What We Get Wrong About Loyalty

The word loyalty gets thrown around a lot in hospitality.

We talk about loyalty schemes, loyalty cards, reward programmes, data capture.
We offer points, free drinks, birthday prosecco, discount vouchers.

We chase return visits. We analyse dwell time.
We run offers with the hope that someone will come back just one more time.

And for a while, that worked. Those gestures felt good.
They felt generous. They created a sense of being seen.

But somewhere along the way, something shifted.

Those same gestures started to feel less… meaningful.
Not because we stopped caring, but because the context changed.
And we didn’t quite stop to notice.

When a Gift Becomes a Transaction

I remember when a free coffee really meant something.

It wasn’t about data capture. It wasn’t a marketing tool.
It was a quiet thank you for someone you knew — a customer you recognised, maybe even liked. Someone who always brought good energy, who’d helped you through a tough day, or just turned up week after week with a smile.

It was personal.
It was real.

Now, so many of those gestures feel automated.
They’ve been handed over to the algorithm.
And the customer knows it.

The email, the app notification, the points total — they’re all designed to look like care.
But they’re often just dressed-up reminders that loyalty is something we’re trying to buy.

And here’s the uncomfortable bit: customers can feel it.
They know when it’s real — and when it isn’t.

Loyalty Isn’t About the Offer

When we treat loyalty like a commodity — something to be chased or rewarded — we miss its real power.

Because loyalty isn’t a strategy. It’s a feeling.

It’s the feeling a customer gets when they walk through the door and the team smiles because they remember them.
It’s the comfort of knowing the music will be just right, the lighting will be warm, the favourite dish is still on the menu.
It’s the joy of being seen, of being welcomed, of belonging — not just being served.

Loyalty lives in:

• The way a regular is greeted before they’ve even spoken.

• The note someone remembers about a guest’s order, their anniversary, their “usual.”

• The feeling a customer has when they leave, and they already want to come back — not because of a deal, but because of how they felt.

It’s emotional.
It’s human.
And it can’t be bought.

The Loyalty Shift

In today’s landscape, customers visit less often.
They’re more discerning. More cost-conscious.
And there’s more choice than ever before.

That’s led many businesses to panic.
To throw out more deals, more vouchers, more campaigns — all to drive return visits.

But here’s what I see time and again:
The businesses that are weathering the storm aren’t the ones with the best deals.
They’re the ones with the deepest relationships.

They’ve built real connection.
They’ve created spaces where people feel seen.
Where guests feel proud to bring their friends.
Where the customer experience is not just consistent — it’s personal.

And in that connection, loyalty doesn’t just survive.
It thrives.

Why Independent Hospitality Has the Edge

The chains can outspend us.
They can offer bigger discounts, fancier tech, slicker schemes.

But they can’t compete with belonging.

They can’t replace the feeling of being remembered.
They can’t replicate the sense of walking into a space that feels like yours.
They can’t fake the authenticity of a business built around real people, real stories, real care.

That’s our edge.
And we forget it at our peril.

You Don’t Need Everyone

There’s a strange kind of freedom that comes when you let go of the idea that you need to attract everyone.
Because once you stop chasing volume, you can start nurturing depth.

You can show up more meaningfully for the people who already love what you do.
You can stop trying to impress people who aren’t your people — and start deepening relationships with the ones who are.

And when you do that, you find something remarkable:
Those customers stay longer.
They spend more.
They bring others with them.

Not because they’ve collected enough points —
but because they care about your business almost as much as you do.

Loyalty as Belonging

In the end, loyalty isn’t something we earn with an offer.
It’s something we build through presence, consistency, and care.

It’s built in the everyday moments:

• remembering someone’s name

• pausing to ask how their mum’s doing

• saving their favourite table

• genuinely meaning it when you say “see you soon”

Loyalty is not about giving away value.
It’s about making people feel valued.

And that’s something this industry knows how to do better than any other.

So maybe it’s time we stop chasing loyalty…
and start creating it.