The Best Operators Lead With Feeling
Pillar: Set High Standards
We talk a lot about leadership in hospitality—but not enough about emotional intelligence.
That moment when you sense something’s off with a team member.
When you adjust your response to a customer based on their body language.
The little signals. The micro-decisions.
The gut feelings that come from years of being on the floor.
The best operators I know don’t just manage systems—they read rooms.
They know when to push and when to pause.
They lead not just with their heads, but with their hearts.
And in an industry where people are your greatest asset—and your biggest challenge—that’s not soft. It’s strategic.
We’ve Been Told to Leave Emotion Out of Business
Be professional.
Be strong.
Be clear.
Those things still matter. But I’d argue the most powerful thing a leader can do today is feel more, not less.
Feel the dip in energy across a team, and check in before it spirals.
Feel the tension between staff members and facilitate a reset.
Feel the joy of a room in full flow—and protect what made it possible.
Feel your own limits, your own truth, and lead from a place of alignment.
Emotional intelligence isn’t just about empathy.
It’s about awareness.
It’s noticing the unseen. Acting with care.
It’s what makes you trusted—not just liked.
You’ve Seen the Difference
You’ve worked with leaders who lacked it.
The ones who stuck to scripts, policies, and processes—ignoring what was really going on.
The ones who treated every issue as a performance problem, not a person one.
The ones who chased perfection and burned everyone out.
And maybe you’ve become—or are becoming—the kind of leader who listens deeply.
Who adjusts. Who names things when they feel off.
Who brings people together with grace and honesty.
That’s leadership that lasts.
That’s what today’s teams—and customers—respond to.
Lead Others. But Don’t Lose Yourself.
Let’s be honest—leading with feeling is not always light work.
It’s heavy.
Holding space for others.
Noticing the undercurrents.
Carrying the emotional weight of a team.
That’s why self-awareness and self-care matter too.
Setting high standards includes the standard you hold for your own wellbeing.
The best operators don’t just take care of everyone else—they know when to rest, reset, and ask for support.
So Yes, Lead With Feeling.
It’s your best data source.
It’s your competitive edge.
It’s your legacy.
This article reflects one of the Five Pillars of Stand Out Hospitality, as featured in Cassie Davison’s upcoming book—guiding values that shape thriving independent businesses: Set High Standards, Stand Out, Define Your Identity, Build Belonging, and Tell a Great Story.